I’ve spent over 30 years studying serial offenders, backed by a BSc (Hons) in Forensic Psychobiology and a CertHE in Forensic Science & Medicine. My obsession started at age 11 when I wrote a paper on Jack the Ripper for a school class presentation and included acetate sheets of the murder locations and crime scenes on the OHP whilst providing paper handouts like a tiny Victorian lecturer. The bullies avoided me for two weeks cos they thought I was a psycho. A win.

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I’ve worn many hats over the years: working with offenders and those at risk; teaching kids and adults; running acting and CSI workshops; performing as an actor and singer.

 

I’ve recorded children’s nursery rhyme albums, produced films with my BAFTA-winning business partner, and founded more organisations than I intended - including the East of Scotland General Branch of Equity and the British Actors Network.

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When I’m not knee-deep in serial killer chat or wrangling clients, I can be found surrounded by cats and dogs. Since 2014 I’ve fostered 39 of the wee feckers and Raw's Paws is now an established home boarding business.

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I’ve worked on a live murder inquiry, been peer reviewed and published, and I chair Children’s Panel hearings every month.

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In a nutshell: I’m the person who can help you bury the body, keep our alibis straight, AND film the whole thing in 4K for future blackmail material - purely hypothetical, obv 😄

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As a CPD Certified Virtual Assistant & Member of the Society of Virtual Assistants, I have lots of skills...

"...a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a [dream] for people like you.  I will look for you, I will find you and I will [work with] you.” That Bloke off That Film

 

Sample skills

• Typing really fast

• Juggling (balls only, ideally just 3)

• Spinning plates

• Nailing jelly to walls

• Knitting fog

• Lowering a lifeboat from a capsizing cruise ship whilst managing 200 screaming and panicking holidaymakers

• I can tell the difference between Ant & Dec

• Horse riding: I've ridden a horse 3 times in my life (not the same horse)

• Herding cats

• Bottling farts

• When in water, I float like a jobby

• I can tell the difference between a chicken breast and a human liver when shown a picture of each having been discarded in a field*

*the breast and liver were discarded in a field, I was not.